Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
