waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
