thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
