NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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