there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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