Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
