It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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