I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
