2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize