Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
