that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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