I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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