yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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