Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize