bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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