dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
