two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
