ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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