i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
