Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
