There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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