I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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