I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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