I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
