she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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