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I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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