It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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