Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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