dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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