Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
