Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
