I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
