It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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