My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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