well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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