Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
