I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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