so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
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I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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