You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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