if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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