What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
