She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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