We won't sleep together?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
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you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
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Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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