remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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