I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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