wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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