my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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