just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
