His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want to be your penis for a week.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
