You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
