The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
