i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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