He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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