Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
