It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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