I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
