So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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