I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
