is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
