Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
