He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
