I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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