I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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