A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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