im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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