there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
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pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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