We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
