What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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