Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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