plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
