We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
